In an era where everyone collects the latest electronic devices, books prestigious vacations, and indulges in daily lattes or fancy dinners, finding the perfect gift for our loved ones this holiday season can be difficult. It can also feel very surreal or even unsettling to splurge at a time when there is so much suffering and dissonance all around the world. So, when I started thinking about this upcoming holiday season, I wondered, “What would be the best gift to offer someone near or far in these unusual times?”.

 I then started to reflect on my own experience, thinking about what was the one gift I received for which I am the most grateful, the one thing that has been most meaningful and impactful in my life, the thing that was now part of me, my purpose, but most importantly, the one thing that kept on bringing joy to my life, every single day. The answer was instantaneous and clear. It was the gift of empathy.

“She had the power to make anyone feel like they were the only one in the room.”

Empathy is not only something that was given to me but also something that surrounded me. I was born & raised in a small-town restaurant by the most hospitable & gracious mother – my mother WAS empathy. She had the power to make anyone feel like they were the only one in the room. She had that ability to zoom her attention on you, just like you were on stage and the spotlight was shining directly on you. You could feel the warmth and dedication while she listened attentively to every word you were saying while also picking up on what you weren’t saying. Her soft gaze was kind and welcoming, easing you into sharing what was on your mind and probably more than you expected. You would sense that it all mattered to her no matter what you were sharing, either big or small. As if this wasn’t enough already, she had this ability to sense what you were feeling and always knew exactly what to say or do to soothe your pain, lift your spirit, or simply create a unique moment with you. And this has been the most wonderful gift I have ever had the privilege to receive; this is the gift of empathy.

 

I can still remember sitting on the counter of the diner as a little girl, thinking how wonderful it felt to see how many lives my mother touched through simple but meaningful interactions. I knew then what empathy was in my core, but of course, it wasn’t something I could define per se. It wasn’t until I was studying psychology and working in a psychiatric clinic that I could finally put a name to my mother’s superpower, the power of empathy.

“Empathy is not about grandiose gestures, but it’s in the little details and actions that leave the most lasting impressions.”

I also remember thinking how lucky I was to have received such a gift. I knew then that this was a precious gift that I wanted to keep giving, especially because, far too often, I noticed that it wasn’t as present as it could and should be. Empathy is not about grandiose gestures, but it’s in the little details and actions that leave the most lasting impressions. And this is an experience that we all crave. It’s that story you remember when someone made you feel seen, heard and understood. It made you feel special and amazing because they knew exactly what you needed at that specific moment.

“Once put into practice, these skills lead you to master the power of empathy in a realistic and achievable way.”

When I would ask people around me, “Do you know what empathy means”? Most of the time, I would see confused faces. I realized that fostering the power of empathy can seem like a very daunting endeavour for most of us as empathy can sound complex or abstract, explaining why empathy is not as widespread as we would hope. I knew deep down that this was a skill we could all foster, and after doing extensive research, I realized that empathy has five underlying skills. Once put into practice, these skills lead you to master the power of empathy in a realistic and achievable way. This gift has guided so much of my life, and I now live to extend this amazing gift to others, the gift that feels better than any other gift.

Now, I pass on this gift to you and invite you to spread the love and extend this wonderful gift to those around you over the holiday season and beyond with these simple but meaningful actions that will definitely leave a lasting impression on your loved ones.

 

• Lights: The next time someone dear to you starts sharing something with you, drop everything, especially your phone. Make sure this time is unique and dedicated, focused on them, and only them, like you are shining that spotlight onto them. This will create a space where they will feel safe and feel like they are the most important person to you at that specific moment.
• Camera: Once you give them your undivided attention, simply listen. It sounds simple, but this is challenging for most of us as we want to be heard and share our ideas or solutions. Focusing on what they are saying will build trust, and you will better understand what they really feel and need from you.
• Action!: Now that you have captured the essence of what they are sharing with you, you can now take action. As mentioned, it is all about small gestures, such as saying, “That sounds really difficult,” or putting a hand on the other person’s hand. It is also an opportunity to ask what they need from you at the moment. By being in the moment, you will show that you are genuinely interested and will find ways to make their day brighter and write a story they will never forget.

Empathy is how we exchange, relate, & ultimately how we create genuine & meaningful connections with others. It is something that we all crave.

Empathy is how we exchange, relate, & ultimately how we create genuine & meaningful connections with others. It is something that we all crave. So why not extend this wonderful gift to your loved ones, colleagues, and anyone around you? There is no need to wait for a special occasion to demonstrate empathy towards others. Being completely in the moment with your loved ones IS the occasion. Create those heart-warming stories that your loved ones will cherish forever. And let’s all value and foster this wonderful skill every day because now, more than ever, the world clearly needs more of that special gift –the gift of empathy.

 

I wish you all a holiday season filled with meaningful connections!

 

Dedicated to the woman who made me the strong and kind person I am today.